So, I was talking to one of my girlfriends on the phone last night and you know, she's made huge changes in her life. She moved to a different city. She started a new life. All this stuff ,which I really so much I admire. And I'm inspired by her every day.
And I asked her about her relationship because she moved to a different city and now she's in a new relationship. And she said. "oh. it's over. It's done. You know, he reeled me back in five times, but now it's truly done."
So, in talking about the ending of this relationship, we actually started talking also about the beginning of the relationship. And something occurred to me that, you know, became crystal clear in this moment. And I don't think I've ever talked about it. And that is, regardless men ,women, whoever, we end up staying in relationships too long. We know, you know, on some conscious level that it's not serving us but we kind of settle until we're ready to make a move or until we're ready to end it.
And there's still some kind of attachment that's keeping us there but there is actually an impact to staying too long. And that is when we allow, you know, behavior in a relationship that doesn't serve us, that we don't like.
When we allow it too long, it becomes ingrained. It becomes normalized. You become used to it. And when you become used to it, you know, it's still there. There's still an echo that actually is more than just a memory. And then you've left. You've moved on. You're in a new relationship. You've met someone new that you're excited about. And one of the things that can happen is all that behavior that you didn't like before can show up in the new relationship, but now, because it's new and exciting, you have mistaken what feels familiar with connection. And you allow it because it's familiar to you.
And you're actually misinterpreting it as connection. So, I want you to question what are you feeling. Feel what you feel, but then question what it means. What does it mean? What is really happening here? And don't just settle on one meaning.
Look at all the different possible meanings, so you are deciding for yourself. You are choosing to be in this relationship and you're not letting old patterns reel you back in.