Laura Miolla

At the heart of every relationship gone bad, there is a twisted definition of love from at least one partner (and likely both). And by twisted, I mean ... not fulfilling, not equal and certainly not reciprocal. And I know I had the same issue in my own marriage. Watch my brief video to explore what love means to you!

We all assume that we have the same definitions for the words we use. We assume that we all know what love is. We assume we know what a fulfilling relationship is. We assume that the people around us ... and especially, our partner ... believes what we believe. Assumptions are guesses. When we don't have full knowledge (and let's face it, when do we ever have that?), our assumptions fill in the gap to give us a sense of confidence and security. It tells us we have the full picture. We know. You know what? We don't. Most communication problems stem from assumptions (and expectations, though that is another topic). So, question your assumptions. Do you have evidence to support the things you think you know? If not, why not? No one is exactly like you. No one has walked in your shoes or lived your life. No one else has the experiences, perspectives or beliefs you do. So, stop assuming they do. Be clear about the words you use. Be clear in how you are defining those words. Be clear in what you want from other people. And get curious about how other people's beliefs and definitions are similar or different than your own. That's a juicy conversation that can lead to insight and connection. Identifying what you don't know ... and looking for that knowledge ... can open the door to greater opportunities. So, what are you waiting for?

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