Laura Miolla

How would a heaping portion of gratitude make a difference in your divorce?

Divorce comes with its own unique blend of emotions. It contains all of the typical feelings associated with a break-up, like hurt, rejection, anger and self-doubt. With divorce, though, all those feelings get intensified and mixed together with an extra helping of fear. And managing the divorce process, and this new upside-down life, is that much more challenging when you are also, so blindly, desperately, trying to manage yourself.  It’s easy to forget, in the midst of so much chaos, that there are gifts for you here in this space. Open your eyes. Choose gratitude. It seems simple, but this is the time when you need it most.

Easier said than done, right? Actually, it is easy – as easy as breathing. Remember, focusing on what you do have is far better than focusing on what you don’t. And focusing on what you want to have now is even better. Your hopes and dreams are always stronger than your fear and pain. So, get off the emotional rollercoaster for a minute and take a breath.

Now, be grateful for that breath. You are alive! Your experience right now feels hard, but that is all part of living your life. How can we fully experience and appreciate joy without first having experienced pain? They don’t say life has its ups and downs for nothing. Diversity and contrast is what makes life exciting and bright. Who wants a beige life? So, know that what you are feeling right now is finite. It is unique to this time and place. It will pass. And you will still be breathing.

And how you live your life from now on is completely up to you. There is freedom in this space. There is choice in this space. Look at your future as a canvas that you get to paint any way you want. So, start focusing on you. Start envisioning what you want your life to be … now … a year from now … five years from now … and so on and so on. If you can’t dream it, you can’t achieve it.  What do you need to start taking steps towards making it real? Go! Start taking those steps. The transformation of your life from now on is in your hands. What a wonderful gift that is.

Now, keep breathing and look around you. Who’s there?  Your children? Friends? Family?  Who do you love? And who loves you right back? Feel their fierce love. Feel their strength. You are special in their eyes and hearts. Surround yourself with love.  Enjoy what they bring to your life. Appreciate the joy that you share with them.  Life is short. Every minute that you spend in anger, fear and pain is a minute sacrificed. So, how do you want to spend your time here? And who do you want to spend it with? Share their laughter because laughter truly is the best medicine.

Lastly, look to yourself. You are no longer being pulled down by a broken relationship. You no longer have to compromise who you are for the sake of someone else. You are your own greatest gift. You are unique. There has never been anyone exactly like you before and never will be again. You’ve already experienced challenge in your life. And while this might feel like the hardest one of all, you are more than capable of transforming your life. The future can be scary, but there is huge opportunity for you there too. You are free now.

Gratitude is not what you do. It is who you choose to be. So, take another breath. Breathe in joy – breathe out gratitude. Breathe in love – breathe out gratitude. Breathe in peace – breathe out gratitude. Do it. Do it every minute of every day.  Do it every day until it lives in your heart.


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