Laura Miolla

Your ex is just a distraction in your divorce ... and if you treat them as such, your divorce will be a whole lot easier! Conversely, reacting to your ex during a divorce will only create what you don't want! Watch my brief video to learn how you can shift your mindset and achieve some peace in the middle of this chaos.

There are two types of interactions with your ex: reacting to their behavior and comparing your life to his ... which means they are actually rooted in the same thing: negative attachment. You haven't let go yet. So, by reacting their behavior, you are FEEDING it, giving it ENERGY and by doing so, are still INVOLVED. You don't have to react at all. You might choose to RESPOND, but only if it serves YOU. Reaction is ensuring that you are serving the negative attachment ... and nothing good will come from that. Trust me!

Another form of negative attachment is in constantly thinking about him and his life and comparing it to your own.  Again and again, I hear about the ex and what is happening in HIS life. Outside of your co-parenting plan, why is his life relevant to you at all anymore? How do even know that your ideas about his life are even true? Social media is manufactured and not much happiness comes from that.   Divorce is not a competition. There are no winners here. And the idea that s the grass is greener on your ex’s lawn is just that – an idea in your head.  And spending all of this time and energy obsessing about what your ex is doing or thinking is really a form of flattery. Do you really want to give him that kind of time and energy?  Remember, stalkers are just fans gone bad … and while you were your ex’s biggest fan in the past, you don’t need to be his stalker now. It’s a sign that you haven’t let go yet. I suspect that putting the spotlight on your ex keeps it off of you … and all of the responsibilities and decisions that are now yours alone.  Accept that you are up to the task and let it go. There are some important choices for you to make in the divorce process, please don't let this negative attachment distract you from what is most important right now: YOUR LIFE!

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